HEART TO HEART WITH AYNRAN (part 2) – Promise of Forever

                Two years ago, I got to interview a dear friend Aynran who shared us an inspiring love story.  Just this Valentine, I was able to reach her and ask her how she was doing.  

brevcHacHi:  Aynraaaaaaaan!  How are you?  It’s Valentine’s Day so I remembered you.  Last time we chatted, you really gave us something to ponder on. 

Aynran:  Thanks!  I thought you have forgotten me. Hehe!  You never shared me your story.  :D

brevcHacHi:  Haha! Mine is a tough one...I’ll share it when I’m ready.  But you did make me realize a lot of things.  It is so true that when you find someone to love, the love for God should still be a priority otherwise everything else will be in chaos.  While in choosing God first, everything will be put in order...and also includes finding your one true love.

Aynran:  That is so right!  Not just your one true love but your destiny...your soul mate!  However, the process is not always that easy especially when you are already in a relationship and then you realize that the Lord is leading you somewhere else.

brevcHacHi:  Did you have such an experience?  Seems like you have a new story to share.  ;-)

Aynran:  Alright!  Remember my first love?  Just last year, we got back together.  Long story...

brevcHacHi:  After all he has done to you...all the hurts...all these years you were trying to move on and taking time to heal...you took him back?  Why did you take that risk?

Aynran:  It was a hard decision.  Of course I was hesitant, however, as I told you before, I was able to forgive him and we became friends again.  I thought I had moved on...but realized eventually that I never stopped loving him wholeheartedly.  I decided to keep it a secret until he said he also loved me despite the years we were separated.  Indeed we tried having other relationships but there was always a connection between us.  To cut it short, he confessed his love; asked for forgiveness; expressed his regrets...and promised me forever.  After all these years, we realized we were soul mates.  No matter how much we try to avoid it, we magnet each other.  We had the same direction in life and shared the same dream so it was hard not to be together.  However our reunion was for me a dream come true.  I was finally reunited with my one true love.  I waited a long time for that.  Yes, it was the prize for taking the risk of loving him again...risked everything...

brevcHacHi:  Wow!  That’s happy ever after!

Aynran:  I thought so too...but then the unexpected happened.  Deja vu! What happened in the past...the wounds that I tried to heal all these years...that chapter that I wanted to forget...I had to face all of those again.  This time though, it is 5x the pain...or more!  I messed up I guess.  I lost focus.  My desperation led me to sin and greater fears.  However, unconditional love also calls for understanding.  I had to deal with every insecurity and tried my best to still show love no matter what.  You may call it martyrdom but I remembered St. Paul’s words, “Conquer evil with good.”    My only hope is God’s mercy.  I surrendered everything to God and resolved to always see the blessings of each day just so I could survive my depression.  I had to discern whether to let go as the relationship was getting toxic or to hang-on with the hope and belief that he was still God’s gift to me.  Finally, I thought, love is not merely feelings.  It is a commitment.   When I decided to give unconditional love, I knew I had to accept its consequences along with its joys and sufferings.  God has always been faithful and so will I.  

brevcHacHi:  *sigh*  I’m so sorry to hear that.

Aynran:  Oh don’t be.  God has His ways.  He showed me I had a lot of friends who loved me.  They supported every choice I made.  They gave me strength.  I persevered.  Many times I wanted to give up.  I did everything I could.  I remained his friend.  I patiently waited for him...just like the time I secretly loved him.  Sometimes, I would try to force it...only to face rejection.  But still, I didn’t want to give up hope.  I tried as best as I could that the Promise would stay forever.  The pains I had to endure were my proof of love. 

brevcHacHi:  Just like in the movies...

Aynran:  And like in the movies, it has to have a happy ending for people to be satisfied with the story.  Yes!  I did have my happy ending.  The trials of doubt, guilt, and fear were conquered by pure and genuine love.  It was the grace of God.  Now our relationship is even stronger and we have resolved to maximize our partnership in doing God’s work.  God gave me the sign that he will come into my life and I believed in that.  And the good news is we are set to get married next month.  I know the Lord brought us back together for His purpose.  Just as I told you before, in a relationship, make sure that it will always bring you closer to God.  

brevcHacHi:  I remember...and I always will.  I wish I’ll also have a happy ending like yours.  Wow!  You keep surprising me with your stories.  They are so enlightening!  Now I know I have to pray consistently so I may be able to make the right decisions.  Thank you so much.  I just remembered, my brother and I wrote a song that is so much like your story.  I’ll dedicate it to you...

Aynran:  Great!  Let’s hear it...

Promise of Forever

By Robe and Robe

I’ve given up my all to you

Yet you turned your back away from me

I never thought I’d end up crying for you to stay

I trusted every word you said

Believed that you did love me

The heart that used to beat has lost its glee

Wish I could still hear you say...

Hold on, never let go

Coz in the end I’ll still be with you

And fulfill my promise of forever

But for now...just simply love.

Then I closed my eyes in prayer

Full of remorse to the Father

I gave back a shattered heart for Him to keep

Dear Lord, forgive me

It’s You whom I should love the most

Heal this broken child and hold me close

With so much warmth I heard Him say...

Hold on, never let go

Coz until the end I’ll be with you

And fulfill My promise of forever

But for now...just simply love.

Now that you’ve learned to love the way I do

Keep your hopes up high for soon it won’t be long...

Hold on, never let go

Coz until the end I’ll be with you

And fulfill My promise of forever

But for now...just simply love.

 I’ll hold on...never  let go

Coz in the end I’ll still be with You

To receive Your promise of forever

For now I’ll  simply love.

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Heart to Heart with Aynran

During my trip, I met Aynran in Cebu...a very loving person. Allow me to share to you one of our many fruitful chats.

brevcHacHi: Hi how are you? Excited for Valentine’s Day?

Aynran: haha! I’m good, thanks! Well, Valentine’s day is not actually very special day if every day you are always loving as best as you can.

brevcHacHi: Wow! I suppose you are so much in love then. Hmm...what is your secret? You must have a very successful love life.

Aynran: Love life? Of course. As long as you have the love of God in your heart, you will always be in love. He never lets you down no matter what. Anybody can leave you anytime but He will always be there.

brevcHacHi: Got your point...but how about a romantic love life?

Aynran: Well, mine was a complicated one. I used to love somebody who inspired me a lot. He was almost the ideal person I had in mind. I thought he loved me as much as I loved him. I almost gave up everything for him. But I was wrong. It turned out that I was just a victim of his so called weakness.

brevcHacHi: ouch! Good thing you were able to keep your sanity that time. I could have broken down if I were you.

Aynran: Well, that’s what you call grace. Hehe! It was indeed hard. I learned to get angry. I got angry at the world, at myself, at him, at the girls and polygamous men. It even came to a point of blaming God for allowing that to happen to me. I was inconsolable back then.

brevcHacHi: How were you able to recover?

Aynran: It was not easy. Though it took a while, blaming God did not really stay in my heart that long. Though I wanted to die due to the pain I had undergone, I kept telling myself that God had a purpose why I had to feel that. He wanted me to learn something. And that is putting Him still number one in my life and in any relationship that I will get myself involved with. I realized that the reason why our relationship got messed up was that I was so focused with my ex-partner than on what God wanted us to do. I learned that every relationship should lead us closer to God. Otherwise, it will not work out. From realizing that, I allowed myself to feel all the pain and surrendered them all to God. I asked forgiveness and asked Him to heal me. I asked Him to fill my heart again with His love. And finally, I asked Him the grace to forgive the most beloved one I had who crushed and seemingly almost ruined my life and faith. After my surrender to God, I felt a new hope; I regained my self-respect and my dignity; I knew that I still deserved to be loved; I found out that God is my true lover. That if I would have to give my whole heart, it has to be Him. And let Him be the One to give to the partner He has set aside for me so that I could grow more in love with Him. I did not need any sign. I needed Him alone to lead me.

brevcHacHi: So can you now claim that you are healed from your wounds?

Aynran: Yes, but of course the scars will always be there. I still hurt sometimes. I still feel the guilt and the jealousy that I was not preferred. But I merely feel those feelings and offer them to God. Healing is a lifetime process. It is also a decision to move on and be happy. What is rewarding in my experience is that I learned a lot especially on how to deal with the pains in life. It is simply having God as our real partner and putting Him above any creature on earth. I learned the deeper meaning of unconditional love. It involves forgiveness and being happy for those whom we love even if they hurt us the most. The good thing about forgiveness is that you are able to accept and look at that person straight in the eye with love as if nothing bad happened between the two of you. You could even maintain a good friendship just like before.

brevcHacHi: That is so inspiring. I learned a lot. This is worth sharing to the young people. Thank you so much. I believe God allowed you to go through those so you may enlighten others too. I hope you keep on loving. Next time ulit ha.

Aynran: Next time share me your story too. May love life ka rin ba? Hehe!





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3 Degrees of Love

1. Reached when one would rather die than undertake the least harmful action against another human being whatever the circumstance is.
2. Reached when one would rather die than utter the least harmful word against another human being whatever the circumstance is.
3. Reached when one would rather die than accept the least harmful thought against anyone whatever the circumstance is.




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