HEART TO HEART WITH AYNRAN (part 2) – Promise of Forever

                Two years ago, I got to interview a dear friend Aynran who shared us an inspiring love story.  Just this Valentine, I was able to reach her and ask her how she was doing.  

brevcHacHi:  Aynraaaaaaaan!  How are you?  It’s Valentine’s Day so I remembered you.  Last time we chatted, you really gave us something to ponder on. 

Aynran:  Thanks!  I thought you have forgotten me. Hehe!  You never shared me your story.  :D

brevcHacHi:  Haha! Mine is a tough one...I’ll share it when I’m ready.  But you did make me realize a lot of things.  It is so true that when you find someone to love, the love for God should still be a priority otherwise everything else will be in chaos.  While in choosing God first, everything will be put in order...and also includes finding your one true love.

Aynran:  That is so right!  Not just your one true love but your destiny...your soul mate!  However, the process is not always that easy especially when you are already in a relationship and then you realize that the Lord is leading you somewhere else.

brevcHacHi:  Did you have such an experience?  Seems like you have a new story to share.  ;-)

Aynran:  Alright!  Remember my first love?  Just last year, we got back together.  Long story...

brevcHacHi:  After all he has done to you...all the hurts...all these years you were trying to move on and taking time to heal...you took him back?  Why did you take that risk?

Aynran:  It was a hard decision.  Of course I was hesitant, however, as I told you before, I was able to forgive him and we became friends again.  I thought I had moved on...but realized eventually that I never stopped loving him wholeheartedly.  I decided to keep it a secret until he said he also loved me despite the years we were separated.  Indeed we tried having other relationships but there was always a connection between us.  To cut it short, he confessed his love; asked for forgiveness; expressed his regrets...and promised me forever.  After all these years, we realized we were soul mates.  No matter how much we try to avoid it, we magnet each other.  We had the same direction in life and shared the same dream so it was hard not to be together.  However our reunion was for me a dream come true.  I was finally reunited with my one true love.  I waited a long time for that.  Yes, it was the prize for taking the risk of loving him again...risked everything...

brevcHacHi:  Wow!  That’s happy ever after!

Aynran:  I thought so too...but then the unexpected happened.  Deja vu! What happened in the past...the wounds that I tried to heal all these years...that chapter that I wanted to forget...I had to face all of those again.  This time though, it is 5x the pain...or more!  I messed up I guess.  I lost focus.  My desperation led me to sin and greater fears.  However, unconditional love also calls for understanding.  I had to deal with every insecurity and tried my best to still show love no matter what.  You may call it martyrdom but I remembered St. Paul’s words, “Conquer evil with good.”    My only hope is God’s mercy.  I surrendered everything to God and resolved to always see the blessings of each day just so I could survive my depression.  I had to discern whether to let go as the relationship was getting toxic or to hang-on with the hope and belief that he was still God’s gift to me.  Finally, I thought, love is not merely feelings.  It is a commitment.   When I decided to give unconditional love, I knew I had to accept its consequences along with its joys and sufferings.  God has always been faithful and so will I.  

brevcHacHi:  *sigh*  I’m so sorry to hear that.

Aynran:  Oh don’t be.  God has His ways.  He showed me I had a lot of friends who loved me.  They supported every choice I made.  They gave me strength.  I persevered.  Many times I wanted to give up.  I did everything I could.  I remained his friend.  I patiently waited for him...just like the time I secretly loved him.  Sometimes, I would try to force it...only to face rejection.  But still, I didn’t want to give up hope.  I tried as best as I could that the Promise would stay forever.  The pains I had to endure were my proof of love. 

brevcHacHi:  Just like in the movies...

Aynran:  And like in the movies, it has to have a happy ending for people to be satisfied with the story.  Yes!  I did have my happy ending.  The trials of doubt, guilt, and fear were conquered by pure and genuine love.  It was the grace of God.  Now our relationship is even stronger and we have resolved to maximize our partnership in doing God’s work.  God gave me the sign that he will come into my life and I believed in that.  And the good news is we are set to get married next month.  I know the Lord brought us back together for His purpose.  Just as I told you before, in a relationship, make sure that it will always bring you closer to God.  

brevcHacHi:  I remember...and I always will.  I wish I’ll also have a happy ending like yours.  Wow!  You keep surprising me with your stories.  They are so enlightening!  Now I know I have to pray consistently so I may be able to make the right decisions.  Thank you so much.  I just remembered, my brother and I wrote a song that is so much like your story.  I’ll dedicate it to you...

Aynran:  Great!  Let’s hear it...

Promise of Forever

By Robe and Robe

I’ve given up my all to you

Yet you turned your back away from me

I never thought I’d end up crying for you to stay

I trusted every word you said

Believed that you did love me

The heart that used to beat has lost its glee

Wish I could still hear you say...

Hold on, never let go

Coz in the end I’ll still be with you

And fulfill my promise of forever

But for now...just simply love.

Then I closed my eyes in prayer

Full of remorse to the Father

I gave back a shattered heart for Him to keep

Dear Lord, forgive me

It’s You whom I should love the most

Heal this broken child and hold me close

With so much warmth I heard Him say...

Hold on, never let go

Coz until the end I’ll be with you

And fulfill My promise of forever

But for now...just simply love.

Now that you’ve learned to love the way I do

Keep your hopes up high for soon it won’t be long...

Hold on, never let go

Coz until the end I’ll be with you

And fulfill My promise of forever

But for now...just simply love.

 I’ll hold on...never  let go

Coz in the end I’ll still be with You

To receive Your promise of forever

For now I’ll  simply love.

TrulyRichClub.com - Do You Want to Gain Financial Wealth and Spiritual Abundance at the Same Time? GodWhispersClub.com - Get A Megadose of Blessing. And Take Your Life To A New Direction. FamilyReborn.com - How To Increase The Love In Your Family And Prevent Them From Drifting Apart

IN SEARCH OF TRUE LOVE?

First Story...

I had a chubby but pretty friend who had a lot of suitors.  She wasn’t interested in dating the first four guys who came trying to win her.  But there was a handsome former model who, to her surprise, expressed his intention of courting her.  After three days, she could not say no to his proposal.  She was like in cloud 9...as if she won a lottery.  It was like a dream come true having a prince look-a-like.  It was like a victorious revenge to her ex-boyfriend who left her for a younger girl.  However, one of our friends tested to ask her, “what if he was somebody who is physically challenged or maybe he did not look like prince charming, could you say you love him still?”  At that, she closed her eyes and tears fell off.  She honestly knew that it was all physical attraction but she decided to go on with the relationship and put so much effort trying to learn to love as much as her former.  Unfortunately, though she learned to love him for quite a long time, she only managed to love some of his qualities and the relationship turned out to be toxic for both of them. 

Another Story...

Just the other Sunday, I got glued to watching Rated K by Korina Sanchez as it featured a couple who are still both alive in their old age – they were just 100 years old—maybe physically weak but strengthened so much by their love.  You will certainly find yourself smiling as to how they acted like newly weds...sweet!  It also featured a couple who was tested by a rare disease due to kidney failure.  The wife used to be a beauty queen but now is unrecognizable as her body slowly decreased in size while her face totally deformed.  Yet the touching scenario is how his husband takes good care of her with all fidelity, patience, and love.  Her family and friends love her so much despite her unsightly physique.  This makes her fight to survive and appreciate life.   And just yesterday, we attended the 34^th wedding anniversary of the parents of our dear friends.  The celebration of the Holy Eucharist was accompanied by their renewal of vows that left us teary eyed as the couple is a great example of an enduring love since they exchanged their “I Do’s” 34 years ago.  Our friends’ father has been suffering from an ailment relative to Parkinson’s disease while his wife unwearyingly attended to her husband’s needs as well as the whole family.  All of these they willingly bore for the sake of love.

                These three couples have given us hope in this world where the term love has been abused and misused.  They have exemplified that more than the superb overwhelming emotions that love gives, there are people who are still willing to commit to love.

                Ah yes!  Commitment to love – this is true love.  Most people nowadays are victims of a love that are concentrated on a pack of emotions and when the feelings are gone, hurting each other is inevitable leaving them broken...wounded...shattered...lifeless.  Many would come to me (and I also personally experienced such) telling me how they could not live without the love of their life or that they were promised forever but because of some simple faults (maybe like snoring or wrong wardrobe? Hehe!) or because somebody prettier or seemingly better comes, that they were dumped. 

                 

                Good thing I came across an article of Bo Sanchez that might help you realize if what you are feeling or having is true love or simply...infatuation.  Let me quote some of the differences he mentioned on his blog, “Is Your Love Genuine or Fake?” (you can read on his complete article via www.bosanchez.ph)

Spot The Difference

1.    Infatuation doesn’t require a decision. It just happens. You see a girl and boom—your hormones kick in and you want her. You don’t know why. It’s her dress. It’s the way her hair falls on her shoulder. It’s her smile. It’s the way she bites her fingernail. That’s why I said that pirated versions are free. But Real Love doesn’t just happen; Real Love requires a decision. That’s why Scott Peck says Real Love can only start after one has “fallen out of love.”

2.    Infatuation, no matter what you do, lasts only for a season. You have these feelings of love swirling within you until something happens that breaks the spell. Maybe she’ll open her mouth. Maybe she’ll reveal her fangs. Maybe she’ll pick her nose. Maybe she’ll spend your money. Maybe she’ll introduce you to her mother. Maybe she gains 30 pounds. It could be anything. Infatuation can last for a few days or for a couple of years. But Real Love can last forever precisely because it’s a decision.

3.    Infatuation is directed towards a figment of your imagination. You’re not attracted to a real person. You’re attracted to a projection of that person from your own imagination. Like Infatuation itself, you’re in love with a fake. But Real Love is directed towards a real person. You now know her strengths and weaknesses, and have accepted it all.

4.    Infatuation is a spontaneous collapse of your boundaries. You get lost and you merge with the other. You’re enmeshed. You can’t survive without each other. But Real Love requires strengthening of both your boundaries; You actually don’t need each other, but you choose each other because you want to serve.

5. Infatuation is all about feelings. Dubdub. Dubdub. Dubdub. Cold palms, giddy spells, dazed looks, and feet on the clouds. But Real Love is about dirty hands. You don’t have to feel anything to love. Love is a verb, not just a feeling. Love is an action, not just a state. Let me repeat my message: I believe love is about dirty hands, not beating hearts. The essence of love isn’t feelings but service. Scott Peck says it so well—the opposite of love isn’t hatred; the opposite of love is laziness.

                There you go!  Maybe that would wake you up a bit.  It’s not that we ignore the wonderful feelings of being in love as this is also very important.  The thing is, I have also learned that once you have those feelings, immediately offer it to God and ask for the grace not to go deeper if the person is not the one.  Attraction is so easy but that’s where maturity comes in.  You have to discern if you have feelings to a person because of some qualities he/she may possess at the moment or if you love the person because of his/her totality.  No exceptions.  You can accept his or her every strength and weakness.  Bo says,

“I’ve found out that only mature people can love. Only mature people can do the great switcheroo when the pirated copy fails. They just pull out the genuine article.

Why? Only mature people have love within them.

Real Love has very little to do with the other person. A loving person can love because he is a loving person, not because the other person is lovable.”